Wondering how to improve your people skills and relationships with others? As a starter book I’d recommend Dale Carnegie’s book on How to Win Friends and Influence People, which I will describe in more detail below.
For the rest I hope you find something interesting here in my curated list: Books to help you get along with people🙂
I’ve read this book twice in my twenties, and twice in my thirties. I even gave it to many of my friends as gifts (it was so good I could not help but give it to others!).
Below are the main points directly from the summaries in Carnegie’s book. Each of these principles are richly explained with entertaining and heartwarming examples.
Part 1-How to handle people
1. Don’t complain, condemn or criticize
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
Part 2- How to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important
sound in any language
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely
Part 3- How to win people over to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, ‘You’re wrong.’
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
4. Begin in a friendly way
5. Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
10. Appeal to the nobler motives
11. Dramatize your ideas
12. Throw down a challenge
Part 4- How to be a leader
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
5. Let the other person save face
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your
approbation and lavish in your praise
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
8. Use encouragement. Make fault seem easy to correct
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
How to win friends and Influence People is a timeless classic for anyone who wishes to better understand people and get along with them.
I finally understood the meaning of ‘never burn your bridges’, after reading this book.
Dave Kerpen argues that happiness or success in life is reliant on the bonds you build with people around you.
He goes on to say that people matter in getting you what you want in your career, job and life. If you have weak relationships with people around you (online and offline) every challenge you face will feel like a huge boulder you have to push uphill alone.
So getting to know how people think and understanding how to deal with them is what he calls the art of people.
Charisma is a skill that anyone can learn and perfect, but you don’t have to learn these skills from scratch. Cabane shows you how it can be done by embracing particular exercises to enhance who you already are.
Everyone can learn to be good at making conversation. Alan Garner uses everyday language to teach you the skills to gain the upper hand during social situations, overcome social anxiety, encourage people to talk and become a better listener.
The Fine Art of Small Talk teaches you to be ease in any type of social situation. You will learn among other things to have a repertoire of social skills, keep a conversation going for longer than 5 minutes, and learn to mingle in a crowd. Included in the book is a handy cheat sheet to help you for example prepare for a conversation, break the ice, verbalize your listening and redirect the conversation to other topics.
This book teaches you to better understand human nature; and what humans seek in interaction. Human interaction is a trade. All people want admiration, acceptance, approval and appreciation. When interaction is built on these premises it’s a win win for both parties.
It is no secret that first impressions matter. According to Boothman, the secret to get people to like you in the first 90 minutes is to be like the person you meet. This book shows you how to synchronize your attitude, body language, tone of voice in order to build rapport with anyone you meet.
If you want to get others to like you in a true spy like fashion, then this might just be the book for you. Based on behavioral analysis and experience from a former FBI agent, this book offers you tools to master non- verbal language, catch out liars, make positive first impressions and understand human behavior.
*In case you are on the shy side, why not check out by blog post on ‘How to be more Social’.
Do you have any personal tips to share about getting along with people? Please comment in the box below. I’d love to learn more!
This page may contain affiliate links, which means I will receive a commission if you buy one of these products, at no additional cost to you. I only list things that I personally love.